It is due to and for the Self that we start loving someone...Yajnavalkya explains in Upanishads

... the other and here in the true experience of Love there is no other !!!

In the Brihad-aranyaka Upanishad 4.5.6 Yajnavalkya teaches his wife, Maitreyi:

na va are patyuh kamaya patih priyo bhavati

"A husband is not dear because the wife loves the husband. A husband is dear because she loves the Self."

He also says:

na va are sarvasya kamaya sarvam priyam bhavati atmanas tu kamaya sarvam priyam bhavati

"Everything is not dear because one loves everything. Everything is dear because one loves the Self."

Again, he says:

atma va are drashtavyah srotavyo mantavyo nididhyasitavyo maitreyy atmano va are darsanena sravanena matya vijnanena idam sarvam viditam

"The Self should be seen, heard, worshiped, and always meditated on. O Maitreyi, by seeing, hearing, worshiping, and understanding the Self, everything becomes known."